Communicate they say, why when you really don’t want to hear what I have to say. You want me to make you feel better by the words that I utter. Why must I pretend to like the things that you do, in order for you to feel like you are a better you. No! How dare you want me to be anyone other than me, in order to please you?
Communicate they say, why when words are misused and taken wrong every day. When I communicate, you complain and say, “why did you have to say it that way”? When I decide to give my undivided while remaining quiet, you say, “I could care less about you or your affairs”. You see communication isn’t needed; it’s a sense of comfort in that false identity that you continue to seek.
Communicate they say, why when words uttered by me cause you discomfort when things aren’t spoken how you’d like them to be. Did you want my opinion or your version of what you thought my opinion should be? Did you want me to take on a false identity to please you, that won’t happen with me; I can only give you my truth and my opinion on the things that I see. Don’t expect any falsehood with me. I am true to me, that’s why I am comfortable expressing myself so openly. Try it sometimes, there’s freedom in that, trust me.
Fact is this; your perception is linked to your identity and my perception to me. Our responsibility to one another is in the way that we speak, integrity and honesty, remaining kind and open-minded. I can’t be the cause of your feelings, regardless if they make you feel worse or better. All of your feelings are internal why do you think me being on the outside, can make you feel any better? Have you given that power to me? Please take it back; it’s too much for me. My responsibility to you is in mastering me; your responsibility is to do the same for me. After all I can’t give anything to you, that I first couldn’t give to me.
Communication is only effective when you and I both feed off the words that are being spoken. When we are outcome driven and focused on what can be given, not just on what’s being spoken. Communication is effective when who is right vs. who is wrong is no longer the point to be made after all. Instead we seek to gain a deeper understanding of what’s truly going on underneath the misconceptions of it all.
Once we are able to accept the words that are being spoken without defensiveness, judgments and or word battles, but instead make some points that you and I can both live by and honor. If this isn’t the case then there isn’t any point to communicate, we have allowed the ego to take our place. The communication has now turned into an identity enhancer, ego filler, pride pleaser and I don’t want to be apart of that at all, I’ll just talk to you later when you and I both can be present enough to make positive impactful statements.